Ralph Razor is founder, promoter and resident DJ at Sheffield's famous uber-glamouriste haunt Razor Stiletto, which celebrates it's fifth anniversary tomorrow at DQ nightclub in Fitzwilliam Street.

Ralph grew up in Nottinghamshire in the view of Newstead Abbey Park, the ancestral home of Romantic Poet Lord Byron, and moved to Sheffield to study sociology at Sheffield University in 1998.

Ralph along with the Ralphettes has made guest appearances and played records everywhere from Torture Gardens to Bugged Out! To festivals in Paris and the launch of the Vivienne Westwood exhibition in Sheffield
Previously Ralph has been both a muse and a musician, making an early stage appearance playing bass guitar and performing a modern adaptation of a 19th Century gay socialist hymn, whilst dressed as a pre-Raphaelite Angel supporting Authechre, and later was part of the backing band for Kings Have Long Arms.

He was also heavily involved in this year's inaugural Sensoria Festival of film and music

My Ralphettes
The Ralphettes are my beautiful and glamorous assistants. I met the Ralphettes in Sheffield so I hope that counts. The concept of Ralph & the Ralphettes is actually directly based on the two girls from The Human League, and Kid Creole and The Coconuts (despite hailing from Brooklyn, Kid Creole has been living in Dinnington since the early 1990s).

Former first lady of the United States, Nancy Reagan famously quoted the American proverb "Behind every great man, there is a great woman".
While I hang around name-dropping at parties and going to opening nights, The Ralphettes tirelessly, design the artwork, make all the costumes, mop my brow and massage my ego. They stand outside in the cold and turn away all the scary drunken meatheads on the door at Razor Stiletto and make the world a better place.


Wasabi Sabi, London Road
Myself and the 'Ettes helped Wasabi Sabi out with a party last year, so in return, they treated us a free meal at the Teppanyaki table.

Naturally I ordered the most expensive option, so I was able to sample the full delights of the menu. The chefs cook everything in front of you, and throw chunks of food at you for you to catch in your mouth (that's a good thing by the way!). Their Japanese Black Cod is quite possibly the finest thing I have ever tasted.



Woolley Edge Service Station
As a general rule, one service station is pretty much like another and they tend to be something you endure, rather than enjoy. However, despite only ever been to Woolley Edge Services on the M1 once in early October, 2003 when we were driving back from a gig in Newcastle, I remember it vividly.

It is the best and most pleasant motorway service station that I have ever visited. Despite being around 3am, the staff were friendly and polite, the service was speedy and excellent, the toilets had won awards for cleanliness, and the food from the canteen was edible.

In the late 70s the members of Saxon met for the first time at Woolley Edge Services. Saxon were the main inspiration for Spinal Tap, so the place is an important cultural landmark. South Yorkshire Tourist Board should place a plaque there in honour of this!

Charity shops
Most of the clothes and records I have purchased since I moved to Sheffield in 1998 have been from Sheffield's charity shops. This has been due to lack of funds and a socio-cultural fascination with people's unwanted clothes and dead men's records

If you systematically trawl the charity shops looking for a specific 'must have' item, you are unlikely to find what you are looking for, where as if the only thing you seek is inspiration, then you will discover things that you never knew you ever wanted; perhaps this could also be a metaphor for life?

My favourite all-time charity shop is St Luke's Hospice in Crookes and my favourite finds include a full length purple cashmere coat, and a signed seven-Inch copy of I Eat Cannibals by Toto Coello. A friend of mine claims to have once found a gatefold copy of Frankie Goes To Hollywood's 'Welcome to the Pleasure Dome' album which had £320 in old £20 notes stuffed into the inner sleeve.


Ted Williams Menswear, London Road
A fantastic old-style tailors and menswear shop for the dapper, discerning and distinguished gentleman. It is like stepping into another era, when men wore hats and women had doors held open for them. The clothes would equally be suited to a 1940s 'film noir' or New York pimp treading the line between timeless class and subtle flamboyance.

Although I love charity shops I dream that one day I will be able to afford to have a suit tailor-made for me at Ted Williams. It's also the only place in Sheffield where you can buy a pink trilby; I want one of them too!


Jack's Records, Division Street
This place is genius! I have seen grown men reduced to tears by the unashamed rudeness and complete disregard for customer service of Ian, the grumpy Australian proprietor. He is like the Basil Fawlty of the second hand record shops. A typical scenario might be something like this:

Customer walks up to till and is ignored for five minutes, then nervously asks:

"Do you sell tickets for (insert gig here]?'
To which Ian simply replies: 'Yes'
This is then followed by a minute or longer of confused silence as he resumes ignoring the customer, before they tentatively request:
'Erm…Can I buy one please?'
Ian pauses, scowls at his victim, and again replies in the simple monosyllabic affirmative, and completely disengaging from them, so more uncomfortable silence ensues; until they finally they ask:
'Can I buy one now please?'
Finally, he will begrudgingly serve them (but only after ignoring them for another 30 seconds or so!).

Ian is in fact a lovely man, but he does have an incredibly dry and wicked sense of humour; equal parts Antipodean brashness and Yorkshire cynicism (sorry Ian, have I blown your cover there mate?).