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Don Your Way column: Tattoos, chips and convictions – what a Doncaster dating app would look like

So, everyone’s favourite social media platform has announced plans to get in on the dating game. 

Love it or hate it, Facebook has revealed that it is testing a new app that could see it line up alongside the likes of Tinder, Match and Plenty of Fish when it comes to finding love online.

What would a Doncaster dating app look like?

What would a Doncaster dating app look like?

It is currently on test – but could be rolled out if it proves to be a hit. Understandably, Facebook wants a share of the £3.8 billion that’s spent globally on internet dating each year.

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I’ll be honest, I’ve had my fair share of successes (and several disasters) dating through the web but it did set me thinking.

What if there was a Doncaster specific dating app that the town’s singletons could use? (although some might say it already exists in the shape of ten pints and a trip down Silver Street on a Friday night).

Before someone else pinches my idea and pitches it to Dragon’s Den, it would be called something Yorkshire specific like ‘ey up.com or al’raytluv.com

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Users would have to upload pictures of their tattoos (and before anyone gets sniffy, I have several of my own – you learn something new every day, reader) and any recent convictions along with proof that they didn’t own a coat (as anyone knows, wearing outer layers is banned in Doncaster at any time of year).

Dates would obviously have to take place in Doncaster – a romantic candelit dinner for two over pie and chips at Rothwells perhaps, washed down with a few pints of John Smiths (apologies to anyone who’s thinking, ‘that’s a normal romantic Valentine’s Day night out for me, that.’

Alternatively, you could go posh and get something from Greggs or go ultra upmarket and hang out with the plastic jet set in Bawtry. (Just kidding before anyone gets sniffy again, I like Bawtry and even have friends who live there).

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OK, so maybe my idea needs a bit of tidying up before I stand in front of Duncan Bannatyne (is he even still on it?) but if Facebook can do it, then why can’t I?

All silliness aside, anyone knows Facebook is already halfway to being a dating site anyhow.

Why else the function to message privately and those angry/love/haha emojis which anyone who’s ever been in a relationship will know are a minefield: ‘Who’s she and why has she liked that? I don'’t know, its someone I was at school with 30 years ago and haven’t physically spoken to since 1988.’ ‘But there’s a x too….’

Modern kids will never hear nice stories of how their parents met – I met your mum because I clicked like on an inspirational quote she’d posted is hardly up there with tales of courting and dance halls is it?

I’m sorry. I’m not going to invest. I’m out.