OPINION: Sheffield lay preacher points out 'insensitivities' of churches around Mother's Day

In an opinion piece, for The Star, he says Waitrose and Pizza Express are in tune with how emotional a day it may be for some people, and he questions why churches cannot show the same empathy.

David wrote: “As a lay preacher, I often struggle with Mother’s Day. When I am asked to lead worship in churches there are clear expectations about celebrating motherhood as part of the worship, often including the giving of flowers to all the women in the congregation.

“I am not ‘anti-mothers’- who could be? I treasure the memory of my own mother, and am full of admiration for friends and family who are managing to bring up the next generation with love and good guidance, whilst often balancing the other pressures of work, money and wider relationships.

“But why a special Sunday within churches, dedicated to the celebration of motherhood?

“In the Middle Ages, Mothering Sunday was a day when people gave thanks for their ‘mother church.’ Christians were encouraged to use the day to visit the church where they first received their baptism. The tradition was revived in America in the early twentieth century, and became known as ‘Mother’s Day’- a celebration of mothers and motherhood. In most religious traditions, Mothering Sunday is not designated as a specific festival.

“So, what’s the problem? Surely no one would object to churches celebrating mothers and motherhood in the UK today.

“One difficulty is that it makes common assumptions that are not necessarily common. We have all had mothers, but not everyone has had a positive experience of being mothered.

“I remember taking a ‘Mothers Day’ service at a church in West Yorkshire. After the service, a lady came to me and said ‘When I die, will I be reunited with my mother?’. As I was thinking about how best to answer, she said ‘It’s just that I don’t want to!’

“She spoke about a difficult and unhappy childhood and teenage years, and she was really worried about ever being re-united with her mother. The ‘Mother’s Day’ service had brought back feelings from a difficult time in her life, and the last thing she had wanted on that day was to sit through a public celebration of mothers and mothering.

“I have female friends who simply stay away from their usual places of worship on Mother’s Day. They believe it is not for them. Some are childless by choice; some have been trying unsuccessfully for years to become mothers. Their pain is just exacerbated by having to sit through a celebration of something that they can’t have, or have

chosen not to be a part of.

“At the end of February, I received two emails’ from Waitrose and Pizza Express respectively. As I am on their mailing lists, I was invited to opt out of receiving any Mother’s Day emails from them.

‘We understand that Mother’s Day can be an emotional time and we want to make sure we’re not talking to you about anything that may be upsetting.’ (Waitrose).

‘Mother’s Day can be a difficult time for some and we want to treat the occasion with sensitivity.’ (Pizza Express).

“Let’s hope that this Mother’s Day, churches can be at least as sensitive as Waitrose and Pizza Express.”