Love Island 2022: Day 3 - I watch Love Island, so you don't have to…

We are officially in Love Island season, where there is rarely a day without drama (read: never, there’s always something… or summat). The Islanders are still doing the rounds and getting to know one another, friendship circles are beginning to be forged and moves are being made on one another.

Here’s what happened on Love Island last night

We saw the first official date so far, Gemma and Davide headed out together. Just like in the real-world their date was confirmed via text and made official with the use of a hashtag, because that’s ‘proper’ 2022.

#SimplyTheZest was the contemporary play on the classic Tina Turner line, “I think it’s something to do with lemons”, said Gemma as she read aloud her text to the villa's inhabitants.

Gemma (daughter of charismatic helicopter flying footie icon and current day pundit Michael Owen) and Davide headed off on a cheap and cheerful date where they squeezed lemons, added a splash of sugar… or more so that Gemma would be sweeter still, Davide’s words not mine – as they’re on a date of sorts. How sweet, pun not intended.

Well, if life gives you lemons, why not head to Mallorca to get squeezing and teasing… something like that, right?

It seems like the boys feel a tad intimidated by the chap described as ‘god-like’ by Luca on more than one occasion now. While chatting with Liam they had this to say.

“Yeah Davide is Italian, yeah he can swim, yeah he can cook. But you have something else he doesn’t have… you’re Welsh.” If that’s not an advantage over the hideously well-toned olive skinned Demi-god, what isn’t? Truth hurts, eh?

“Davide is some special species”, all of the boys are in awe of Davide, oh and a selection of the ladies too. But mostly Davide. Kind of how the world felt after watching Brad Pitt be an alluringly stubborn show pony in the cinematic classic, Troy. Didn’t work out for him in the end though, did it?

He has this uncanny ability to wear clothes which by all means should cover everything, but somehow reveals his rippling torso, buttons popping open as though they dare not submerge his very being in linen or whatever fabric he’s wearing. It’s like he’s attempting to seduce the very oxygen everyone is breathing and like a latent airborne virus he has infected them all with envy. He’s succeeding.

The truth is though, so far I don’t hate any single one of them, hate is too harsh a word… I don’t dislike them either, much to your surprise I’ll bet. It’s all relatively painless so far and the use of banter was limited to only a few occasions, phew.

But seriously, it’s all harmless and no doubt a plethora of people online will be clambering over one another to share their hot takes on the unfolding events like those animated corpses from that Brad Pitt Hollywood blockbuster World War Z… cue a joke about the dead having more life, which would be the internet in its full throes and not my opinion, for clarification.

Besides, Paige is a paramedic and she’s more than qualified to bring things back to life, just ask the lads… yes, use of lads in every sense is ironic. And, Paige is a paramedic many could only dream of being resuscitated by, I would suppose.

There was even a bit of tension last night for a moment over certain people’s ‘Top Three’

Andrew stuck his foot in it by telling Tasha that Luca said she isn’t in his top three. Tut tut.

Andrew seemed like he was far too busy trying to style out his “pal” Luca with those comments on exactly who is in his top three. It’s like a 2022 Viral TikTok of prime examples of snaking one another. Ooh eh.

After Andrew was later confronted by an annoyed Bish Le Fish (that’s Luca), any awkward tension was cleared up by a proper honest boys chat on the sofa. If only all nights out were so cordial, wouldn’t the world be so much nicer? A lovely sight to see… and there we have it, a bit of positivity.

“I really wouldn’t lean into it like it’s game over” says Bish the Fish in conversation with Liam, “it ain’t over until it’s over”, #apparently

Later on though, Luca said that the most important thing is that no one should feel awkward in the villa, and he’s right. Luca said he’s “a lover, not a fighter” and after that little chat with Andrew, all seemed rosy.

We also saw the first ‘proper’ Love Island kiss

Dami and Amber locked lips after a long hot day in the villa and the rising temperature and flirting led to a little romance.

The rather intelligent microbiologist Dami Hope and nanny Amber Beckford shared a little kiss during the episode. It followed Dami’s comments that Amber was taking herself way “too serious”, and she pointed out that she wanted to see more of his fun side.

Later that evening, after they were chatting at the bar when Dami said: "You've been giving me eyes. I can see your eyes looking at me and I keep thinking, am I in trouble?"

Amber said: "You see me watching you! I'm intrigued by you. I'm trying to work out what you're thinking."

Dami asked: "What am I thinking now?" with Amber replying: "I don't know. You tell me."

Dami said: "I can't tell you but I can show you", and before you know it… BAM, romance ensued and they locked lips.

Tonight, two girls entered the villa… ooh, drama

And, just as the show was coming to a close, text messages started coming in and Liam’s phone began to buzz away.

The public have decided that Liam should go on a date with Afia, and within moments another message comes in Liam is also set to go on a date with Ekin-su.

I mentioned them yesterday. Why not #MakeItDouble or words to that effect.

Fireworks are set to go off… oh no wait, that’s just the local kids setting them off outside. There will no doubt be plenty more drama to come in tonight’s episode, oh you naughty public voters now you’re just itching to see the calm-ish mood of the Villa burn.

And that’s the end of that for last night’s episode, for now at least.

Love Island continues tonight at 9pm on ITV2 and the ITV Hub.